10 Ways To Increase Self Esteem

When you don’t feel good about yourself, it creates a world of stagnation and hopelessness. It is necessary to keep self-esteem in check to have a good state of mind.  Many of our decisions are intertwined into self-esteem.  If you think you don’t have what it takes to get that job, you may not try.  If you think that you can’t go back to school and get a degree, you probably won’t try.  If you think you do not have what it takes to start a blog, you probably won’t start it.  If you think no one will read a book you write, you probably won’t write it.

If you think that you can not make it living in another state, you probably won’t move.   If you think you can’t attract positive people in life, you probably won’t. If you think that you can’t have a successful life, you probably won’t.  And this can go on and on but why? I mean why? Who told you all of this? Where did these thoughts come from?  Just because they come to your mind does not mean you have to agree with them.

For real though, why are these thoughts setting up residency in your head? When I think about why they were living in my head, I think about the way I was feeling about myself. I was feeling like ain’t (yes ain’t) no way I could achieve what I was wanting.  When I chickened out, it is because I second, third, fourth, who I am kidding lol, fifty guess myself by thinking, well over thinking that I am not good enough, I do not have what it takes, why would this happen for me, etc.  You know crazy thoughts like that.

And this brings me to self-esteem. Self esteem deals with how we value ourselves including worth. The times I chickened out, I couldn’t grasp the value that I bring to whatever it is that I wanted to do.  I couldn’t grasp the skills that I will develop by trying.  I couldn’t grasp the beauty of learning that I will acquire if it didn’t work out.  I couldn’t grasp the possibilities of the positives that will result in my decision to give it a try. I couldn’t grasp the doors that would open because I took the first step.  I couldn’t grasp the growth that I would gain. Do you see what I lost by chickening out.

So, how do we keep self-esteem in check? I would call it an ongoing process. We participate in daily activity that helps us develop positive self-esteem. I don’t think that there is one particular thing to do but a summation of many.  I know there are many ways but I am going to share a few.

Take Risks

The experiences that come with taking risks are priceless. You will learn things about yourself that help you identify your value and increase your worth. Things that were always there but you hadn’t given them permission to come out yet. You will surprise, even impress yourself.

Self Care

It is important to take care of yourself. Giving your body and mind what it needs helps you think clearly and helps you to develop the mindset to see the good and positives in yourself. Make sure to get some self-care moments in throughout the week.

Surround yourself with supportive people

A positive support system is critical when it comes to self-esteem. There have been times that I was feeling some type of way about myself and my support system was able to remind me of my strengths and positives.

Love on yourself

When you love on yourself, you learn what you really like and want in life not what society or people have told you. When you love yourself, some things and people you will not accept in your life. For e.g. negative, toxic people & negative media hinders your thinking process believe it or not. You will not accept that type of negativity in your life.


Exercise can help you feel better mentally and physically by the endorphins that are release. When you feel better, you think better. Simple, right?

Have fun

Sometimes we get so tied down with responsibilities in life until we forget that we use to have fun. Take time out and enjoy yourself. Have fun and soak up those fun and joyful feelings that go through your body.

Help others

When you help others, it benefits both parties. It provides assistance to the person in need and it creates a helper’s high for the giver and may reduce stress studies have found. It is always a great feeling to make a difference in someone else’s life.

Manage fear

Most times we like to run from fear or block it but fear could be useful if we look at it in a certain way. Some fear is necessary to survive in life. For e.g. fear will come to mind when it is dark and you are going to your car alone at midnight. If you can avoid it, you may decide not to do that. For e.g. fear can help you see what steps you may need to take when you are taking a chance in life.  Instead of letting fear stop you, let it help you. Turn the negative into a positive. Does that make sense? For e.g, when we move to another state where we did not know anyone, fear was in my head daily. It didn’t stop me from wanting to go but it made me look up good neighborhoods and schools for the kids. I was able to use it in a positive way.

Don’t participate in comparison

Everyone is not on the same journey in life.  Comparison can be dangerous to self-esteem. For e.g. you looking at a person who had tried again, again and again and they finally succeed at their goals and it is profitable to them. You weren’t there for all of the failed attempts but you see the final time they tried and got it right. So, you look at your life and get depress because you are not where you want to be at yet. You’re not taking in consideration that person’s journey and what they had to go through to get to where you see them at now.  Trust your journey and that you are where you suppose to be at this moment.

Self compassion

When it comes to compassion, you always hear talk or read discussion about showing or giving compassion to others, but what about giving compassion to yourself. Don’t get me wrong. Showing compassion to others is great and needed in this world we live in. I can’t help but to think how helpful self compassion could be in the part we play in the overall scheme of things. We are imperfect individuals and will mess up sometimes and we need to be OK with that. We can be so hard on ourselves. We mess up and act like it is the end of the world. We treat ourselves bad and talk down to ourselves. This can help create a negative view of self.  By giving ourselves compassion, we treat ourselves with tender loving care and provide comfort. This gives us a chance to bounce back, get back up, or keep going.

The mind is powerful and it can play tricks on you if you let it. Well, really you find yourself playing tricks on yourself. This is why is it important to be mindful of self esteem, learn what drives it, and how it helps guide your decisions.  I have taken chances and everything that I thought I couldn’t grasp, I did. Those chances turned out to be beautiful experiences wrapped in knowledge, scary, advancement, growth resulting in empowerment. And there have been times that I didn’t take the chance and wonder what if. I am in a place in my life that I would rather take the chance and be Ok with how it turns out than wonder what if. How about you?

What ways do you use to increase self-esteem?

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5 Ways To Get Motivated When You’re Feeling Blah

Do you ever find yourself in an unmotivated state? You know what you need to do but you don’t feel the desire to do it. You feel like it’s taking forever to get to the outcome that you have picture your head. You almost find yourself losing hope that you will ever get there. The good news is that it will not last forever and is only temporary.  I want you to take a moment to stop and think about what would happen if you let those temporary moments dictate your journey.  Words that come to mind are regrets, defeated, stagnation, depression, etc.  For myself, I don’t want to give temporary moments that type of power over my journey.

I have felt like this a time or two. Wait, multiply that by at least 10 lol and I am quite sure I will feel it again in the future. Does this mean that I am giving in to the thought that I am going be unmotivated? No, well, maybe yes. Stay with me though, it means that I have acknowledged it and will be able to help myself when it happens again. You see, in life when working on goals, preparation is BIG. Are you able to prepare for everything that happens? Probably not, but that shouldn’t stop you from making preparation for what you can.

I can remember when I first started creating photos for my blog. It seems like it took forever for me to get the lighting better and I am not where I want to be but I am proud of my progress. There were so many frustrating unmotivated moments. I think about it now and can laugh but I promise you it wasn’t funny back then. What if I let those temporary moments tell me that I couldn’t do it?  I wouldn’t be able to exercise my creative side or even know that part existed anymore.

My feelings for those moments were real but not valid. The power to make them valid is within me. Your motivation can be like your driver license. As long as they are valid, you are licensed to drive but as soon as they expire you are not. It is real that you are a driver but it is not valid because of your expired license.

Until you go to the DMW and get it renewed, it cannot be use to show you are licensed to drive.  That is how I think about the unmotivated moments. They are real but I have the power to make them valid and I can choose not to.  I can choose to renew my motivation and make it valid. Of course I need help along the way.

Now let’s get to some ways I get through the unmotivated moments. Of course, you may have different ways and that is perfectly ok.  I said 5 but I added a bonus one.

  1. Get some fresh air and go for a walk
  2. Go and read a magazine, blog, book, etc that has nothing to do with what you are working on
  3.  Take a nap
  4.  Gardening
  5.  Love on myself
  6. Binge watch a show on Netflix (Don’t judge me lol)

All of these ways help me to step back, relax, and reset.   I may do one or three depending on the severity of the unmotivated moments. These cause me to step back from the frustration and give myself moments to breathe. After these moments, I am able to think about my why and regroup if needed.  My motivation is recover and I am ready to continue on.


What ways do you use to get out of the unmotivated moments?

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Pampering Time | Hair & Skin Care

There is nothing like taking time out to give yourself a pampering day.  I was so excited to use a day on the weekend as an at home spa day to give my hair and skin some care.  A couple of weeks ago I picked up some face masks at Sally’s and I have been hooked on them ever since. If you caught my post last month, you read about my self care kit.  I make sure to get some self care moments in through the week.   They are important and needed but been able to dedicate a whole day to focus on just me is priceless.  And I am all for participating in ways to  reduce stress.

I mean, it can become so easy to get caught up in caring for everyone else until you forget about yourself.  You may even find yourself feeling a little guilty. I get it, I really do.  But don’t, tell yourself that you need it and they (your people) need you to  take time out for yourself too.  And in all honestly, what does neglecting yourself do for you and your people in the long run?  Think long and deep about it.  You can insert your answer here.


Let’s get to my at home spa day.  Oh wait, let me try to set the scene for you. I had my favorite candles lit and some soft & relaxing music playing and I was in some comfy clothes.  Let’s not forget my favorite cup of deliciousness, Chai Tea Latte in one of my beautiful tumblers.  Depending on what I am needing will determined the kind of at home spa day I will create.  Usually I give myself a spa night through the week that focus on relieving stress and relaxing but I am working on strengthening my hair and taking better care of my skin so I decided to focus on hair and skin care for this spa day.


Protein treatments help to strengthened hair. I gave my hair a light protein treatment.  This process does take a while due to the other steps it entails.  I shared a while back on my process.  You can check it out here if you like.  The process is still mostly the same but the products may be different.  The face mask is supposed to deep clean and purify pores and I could truly use that as I keep oil in my hair and you know how that goes sometimes.


I washed my hair and applied the product for the hair treatment and I use my favorite facial cleanser to clean my face and then I put on the avocado and oatmeal face mask.  I love the way this mask made my skin feel afterwards.  I will be picking up the regular size for this mask and use it in my weekly routine.  Next, I am going to try the Dead Sea Minerals Anti-Stress by Freemans as it sounds like it would fit right in with at home spa day, with the key word been “anti-stress.”

As the hair treatment and face mask were doing their work, I didn’t have a care in the world. I was zoned out in my music feeling relaxed and free. Then, I realized that I was taking care of my mind, body, and soul.  I peacefully got a good nap in and enjoyed the rest of day off stress free.

Do you give yourself an at home spa day?

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Must Read Books For Inspiration & Encouragement

We are in the 2nd month of 2017. How has the new year been going for you so far? I would say it has been going good for me. Last month I discussed self care and shared my self care kit.  Reading can be a form of self care so I have been upping my reading game.  3 books completed in the month of January. Hooray!! To be honest, I didn’t think that I could finished 3 reads in a month but it happen. I started with one and work my way to the third one.  I would say the content of the books played a significant part in the completion of this goal.  Here are the 3 that made the cut for my January’s reads.


Have you ever felt rejected or unloved? Lysa uses her life experiences  to help you see how rejection had impacted her as a person and how it intertwined in the beliefs and thoughts she had about herself.  You are able to take the journey with her and along the way you find yourself relating through your own life experiences.  She shows you how she finds healing through wisdom from biblical scriptures and helps you see how you can find your healing too.  Throughout the book, you will find yourself stopping, digging, and self reflecting.  Through this process, you are able to find your road to healing. I will say to have a journal or notebook ready.  I used mine a lot. I enjoyed Lysa’s writing and this is a book that I will read again.


My sister got this book for me and I am happy that she did.  Do you find yourself stuck or stagnant?  This is a good book to read for MOTIVATION and ENCOURAGEMENT. I had to put them in all caps because Steve does a wonderful job motivating & encouraging the reader to go after their goals in life, whether it be career, entrepreneurship, or relationship wise.  Jump can be applied to many situations.  I mean, you will want to take the jump after reading.  Through his life experiences and faith in God, he shows how jumping, taking a chance, & not giving up got him where he is today.  He doesn’t just share the not so good moments when he started out but he shares the not so good moments after he achieved success and how he made it through them.  When I started reading it, I couldn’t put it down. Each chapter kept me wanting more. This is a must read.

Grace Not Perfection

Do you find yourself constantly in the hustle and bustle routine? Do you ever slow down, simplify things, and enjoy life moments? Do you just keep going going and going? Emily shares through some of her life experiences how it is important to slow down and simplify things.  She shares how it takes giving yourself grace to be okay with doing this and utilizing the word “No.”  I especially enjoyed the chapter on giving your person or spouse grace also.  She also shares very helpful organization and planning tips.  Overall, I enjoyed the book and love that there were pages filled with worksheets.  This book gave me the opportunity to look at my life and see how important it is to give myself grace. I did realized that I do not give myself enough grace and I need to work on that.  And for that I am grateful.

I didn’t want to say too much about each book but I have been inspired by all of them.  Did you read any books in January?


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How I Create A Self Care Kit

Hey loves, have you been enjoying the first week of the new year?  I have been working on tasks to help me with some goals that I started working on the end of the last year.  Last year, I attended a training in self care and it was mentioned how important it is to create a list of self care activities to have at any given time.  As I was looking back on last year, I realized that I participated in self care activities a lot.

I picked up a pretty basket from Target and was trying to figure out what to do with it and decided to use it to store my goodies I use for self care and created a self care kit.  I can imagine self care kits have been around a long time and I find them to be great tools as you are been proactive in maintaining your health.

Say, you had a long day at work and you are exhausted but you get home and continue working because you have duties to do at home and crashed. You wake up the next morning to do it again. You continue to do this for weeks or months at a time.  You find yourself tired all the time and sometimes not wanting to do the tasks that you set for yourself.

Your body and mind has not had time to relax and break from everyday wear and tear.  This is when self care plays a major role in our lives.  When you take time out to care for yourself, you are giving your body and mind a rest and a moment to relax.  A moment to calm down from all of the hustle and bustle.  After that rest and relaxation, you feel good overall, you feel rejuvenated, you feel some peace, etc.

I know after I give myself some self care I am able to develop solutions to certain things better.  Every one self care kit may be different but the goal is the same. I picked objects that I like and that will help me relax.


Coloring book

I started Adult coloring last year.  It is such as relaxing and peaceful time for me and it allows me to be creative and to decide how I want my picture to be.  I am in full control and I can color out of the line if I want to. Ok, that is a great feeling sometimes especially when life can seem the opposite.


How do I even began about journaling?  I love love it.  I write down thoughts, ideas, happy moments, sad moments, dreams, goals, etc. It takes a lot to get me upset but when I do some of the things that come to my mind do not need to be said out loud but I can write them down to get them out.  After that, I am able to focus on why those words or thoughts were my reaction, think about the situation, and respond or react appropriately.  As I mentioned in a post a while back, the pen can write what you can not say.


I love this mug, “Don’t Kill My Vibe.”  When I saw it in the store, I was like I won’t let you lol. I don’t know what I was referring to exactly, maybe the infamous “negative self talk” or people who try to kill your dreams. I think it will be a great reminder though during my coffee and tea for self care moments.

Coffee & Tea

I just love sitting in my favorite chair and sipping on some coffee or tea depending on which one I am in mood for.


Essential oils, candle, & favorite lotion

Aromatherapy is the business. It makes for a great spa day/night. I love scented candles & essential oil diffusers.  Their scents make the atmosphere of the room so relaxing and smell of essential oils may help relieve stress.  I use them for the morning and evening. I love the zone I get in when I use them in the morning when I am writing down my grateful moments. I also love the zone they put me in when I use them in the evening with a long bath.  I light my candle, have some relaxing music playing, some epsom salts (not pictured), and essential oils in my bath and just relax.


I use my phone or iPad (not pictured).  Music is therapeutic to me because some songs can describe how I am feeling and also how I want to feel.

Sometimes, the objects in my kit may change but for the most part, these are what I use now.

Do you have a self care kit?

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Review of 2016 Word, Transform


Hey loves, it’s that time to say good-bye to this year and welcome in the new year. As I look back over the months, I find myself with many words and then there are times when I find myself with no words.  My word for the year was “transform” and boy has there been change going on in me.  When I selected that word, I had no idea the work that would come behind it.  I had moments of tears of sadness and joy.  I had to learn how to let go of the old and position myself to prepare for the new.  In order to do that, I had to grasp the understanding that the old was no longer going to get me to the next level of life. This can be scary because it is unfamiliar territory.  You become a student during transforming.

If I was to say that was HARD, that would be an understatement.  I participated in a lot of personal development. We play so many roles in life. When I am not playing the role of wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, employee, etc., who am I? When I tell you that getting to know yourself can be something else, it can, well to me it was. Then, there were times when I got frustrated in the process because I was so used to, well not use to, but comfortable in my comfort zone.  I have been getting uncomfortable for the past 3 years. Each time, it has been scary but rewarding.

On top of that, my health wanted to act up which cause me to slow down.  Thank God so much for my husband, children, and sister. They have been Amazeballs.  I love exercising but I have been limited to what I can do and that has been a struggle itself because I also use it as one of the ways I release stress.  Even though we are nearing the end of the year, I have found peace (this was difficult) with my current workout regimen.  I am ready for 2017 to crush goals.

I will say that I had a break through moment when I finally decided to watch, “War Room.” Well, I read the book first and it was just what I needed to start the break through and the movie just finish it for me.  The movie has been out for a while but I always said I would watch it later.  But this particular moment in my life, I made it my business to find it.  I like to think that I watched it at the right time because when I say my prayer life has been on 100, more like a 1000.  I have to send praises up for this.   Every since the beginning of this blog, I have been working on my relationship with God and it has been progressing and I thanked him. God has continue to let me know that he got me.

As for my blog, I would like to thank everyone who take time out to read my thoughts.  I am grateful for every message I received encouraging me to continue on and how you have been inspired through my little corner on the internet.  There has been some transforming on the blog also. I have changed the name to “Life Through Fancy Eyes.” I am going to pull this from the mission statement.  My aunt always say that there is a bright side in a situation, we just have to look for it.  Perspective is important regarding life. It is so easy to get caught up in the struggles until we can’t view life with our best eyes.

In order to view life with our best eyes (fancy eyes I like to call it), we have to give ourselves breaks from what is going on.  Sometimes we can be so stress until it becomes difficult to operate in a proper manner.  I want this to be a place where you can come and get a pleasant distraction, take a break, & regroup if you have to.  With topics ranging from healthy living, fitness, hair care, self-care, a dab of beauty & fashion with sprinkles of inspiration.

Honestly, I wouldn’t say that I have completed transforming but for the most part, I have put a dent in this goal.  I see progress in my faith, health, family, work, & blog.  I am blessed because my good days really did outweigh the bad ones.  My husband and I celebrated 20 years of marriage this year.  I thanked God for my relationship with my kids. I have been enjoying time with myself.  I have been enjoying more life moments.  I have been taking time out to just breathe and smell the roses.  I have been living not just existing.  In conclusion, I feel good about how this year has turn out and may do a word of the year next year.  All of these goals with words of the year build on one another.

Saying good bye to 2016 and looking forward to all 2017 has to offer. Did you have a word for the year for 2016?

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Wake With Gratitude


It is always beautiful to find gratitude throughout the day.  It helps your day run smoother and you know that our goal here at “Life Through Fancy Eyes” is to find ways to improve our daily way of living.  We can not control some things or events that happen daily but we can control how we react to them.

Gratitude is a simple and inexpensive tool that can be use to help us with our reactions.  You react differently when your mind is feel with grateful and thankful moments.  This mug carries a powerful message, “Wake With Gratitude.”  I know you may hear or read this a lot about the way we start our day has a lot to do with how the rest of our day goes.  I guess a lot of people have figure it out and just want to share with others.

There is so much chaos going on in the world until we need messages fill with simple and inexpensive tools to help us get through.  We need to be reminded that there are some things to be grateful for through it all.  We need to be reminded that everything is not all bad.  Because thinking of all the chaos can take a toll on the mind and body.


I can remember times when things were not going as I wish or hope and it was tiring me out mentally and physically.  But every time that I took time out and thought of what I am grateful for I felt a load releasing from me.  I felt better instantly.  We have to remember how powerful our mind is and how much control we really have over the way we think.

There are so many different ways to practice gratitude. My favorite is journaling. It is just something about writing it down and seeing it on paper. I know thinking about it changes your mind frame but adding that writing step just help activate it more and give you more time to really soak it in.

After I woke up this morning, I began to thank God and think about some things that I am grateful for and write them down. I could feel my mind and body go into a relaxing and calming state.  And within that moment, I knew I was ready to tackle the day and whatever comes with it.

How do you start your day?   How do you arm yourself for the stressors that comes with everyday living?

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5 Steps To Be Kind To Yourself

5 Steps To Be Kind To Yourself


There are times when we carefully watch what we say to others.   When we know a friend is going through a time of feeling bad.  We sit there and take our sweet time trying to get the right words together to uplift a friend but we give ourselves maybe a minute if that much and speak negative words to ourselves when we are feeling bad. We find ourselves caring deeply for their feelings but what about the times that we deny ourselves the same treatment.

You may wonder what times?  You know, the times when you find yourself saying negative words to yourself about what you did not finish yet, or maybe the time when you felt that you were not good enough, or even the time when you thought you could have done a task in a better way.  This list can go on and on.  It would be beneficial to give yourself the same treatment that you would give a friend in these type of situations.

Be careful of how you are talking to yourself because you are listening-Lisa M. Hayes

Have you notice how we are some of the worst critics when it comes to ourselves? I mean we can really beat ourselves up with negative words.  I mean, there have been times in life that if there was a boxing match going on between me and myself (the worst critic with negative words), myself will beat me with a knock out in the 1st round.  Thank God for growth.

Remember the post I wrote about 6 Ways To Say No To Self Negative Talk.  Negative words will keep you stuck.  They do not help the situation.  They just take us further into the world of negativity and breaks us down.  Breaks us down into a fragile state.  We began doubting other abilities that we may have.  It is difficult to get anything done positive in a fragile state.

One of the best steps you can do for yourself is Be Kind To Yourself.  This is not the only step in life that will yield positivity but it is right up there in the list of Big Ones. Is it always easy to be kind to yourself?  Not at first if you are your worst critic, but as you participate in daily activities that are geared toward loving on yourself, it will become easy to develop kindness toward yourself. With kindness, you speak positive words into your mind.  You build yourself up instead of tearing yourself down.  You show compassionate to yourself.

When you be kind to yourself, you open the door to produce greatness because you began to think good about yourself.  This leads to believing in yourself and achieving goals in life.  This helps you allow peace into your life.  I encourage you to take some time and choose your words carefully because when you talk to yourself, you are listening-Lisa M. Hayes

I have created a list of  5 Simple Ways That Are Geared Toward Me Loving On Myself Which Lead To Me Being Kind To Myself that have been helpful to me 

  1. Forgive yourself– No one is perfect.
  2. Magnify your strengths– We all have strengths and positive characteristics.  Thinking about what I am good at is always empowering.
  3. Participate in self-care techniques-This helps reduce the impact of daily stressors and allow peace in my life.  Pampering also makes me feel good about myself.
  4. Make some positive affirmations that you can review daily-Speak positive words into my mind help remove negative words from my though process.
  5. Make a list of ways to encourage yourself-By creating this list, I have a built-in cheerleader

When I participate in these steps and love on myself, I am equipping my mind with positivity which makes it easy for me to be kind to myself.  It is easy for me to say kind words to myself like I would a friend because the kindness is already there for me to tap into.   If you would like to read further about self-care techniques, I shared some techniques in my post about 5 Tips To Reduce Stress.  About a couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post on 5 Simple Ways To Encourage Yourself that you may find helpful.

I know you may have a busy schedule but I hope this post give you a moment to think about the importance of being kind to yourself.

Update:  I have created a printable just for you.

Free printable 5 tips to be kind to yourself

Download here

How do you be kind to yourself?  If  you have some tips on how to be kind to yourself,  I would love for you to share them.

This has been shared on Weekend Pin It Party

If you enjoyed this post,  you may also like 5 Quotes That May Inspire And Empower You.

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3 Positive Ways To End The Day

3 Positive Ways To End The Day 


In order to be productive for the week, it’s important to let go of any stressors that may have developed throughout the day.  If we hold on to daily stressors, we may wear our mind and body down overall.  Also by holding on to yesterday’s stressors, this helps us to focus more on the next day stressors which will make it difficult to get in solution mode for solving them.

I discussed a few months ago about How important it is to start your day with a boost of positivity.  I will say this post is part 2 of that post.  I don’t think that we can have a positive way to start the day routine without having a positive way to end the day routine.

So, let’s get on with it.

1.  Giving thanks.  

A. This is one of my favorite and you can use this one for starting and ending the day.  It just something about finding thankful moments put the mind in a better place.  One way to complete this is by journaling.  Write down your thankful moments.  I love writing my thoughts down. 

B.  Since your mind is in a positive place, why not keep the positivity going with by making a list of your accomplishments for the day.     Okay, you have documented thankful and accomplishment moments.  If you still have some tasks left on your to do list, don’t feel bad, just add them to the next day.      

I have found myself adding more tasks before completing other tasks and this cause me to feel overwhelmed which was the reason for the post, Don’t Stress! Go for a laugh. 

If you have accomplished every task on your to do list, jot down 3 tasks that you want to work on the next day.  This helps give you a great start to step 2, Make a to do list .

2.  Relaxing activities.  As I discussed in Simple Way To Relieve Stress, sipping some calming tea & doing absolutely nothing is another way to end the day great.  This gives you time to calm your mind down from the activities of the day and just relax.  It’s like unplugging from it all.  All it consists of is enjoying your time doing absolutely nothing.       

A spa bath is another great one I love to do also.  I get my candles, soft music, lavender oil, epsom salt, stress reliever by bath & body works and I am all in.  

3.  Give yourself a bed time and stick to it.  I discussed the importance of getting the recommended amount of sleep in 5 Tips to Reduce Stress.  This is very difficult for me.   I struggled with this one daily.  I was doing fine with it a few months ago but I can’t say that now. 

I try to give myself a bed time but then I think of an idea or I want to research something for the blog and there goes my bed time.  My husband will roll over and ask, “You still up?”  “Yes, I just need a few more minutes,” I reply.  Ha, those minutes turn into an hour or hours.  I am working on it though.    

There you have it.  Work in progress is definitely the definition of my life and I love it because I am taking control and working on doing better.  Some days are easier than others.  I am learning to enjoy progress.

I hope you enjoyed reading about 3 Positive Ways to End the Day and I would love to hear about some ways you participate in to end your day.

If you like this post, you make also like 3 Simple Ways to Give Your Day A Positive Boost.

Let’s stay connected.  Don’t forget to like Facebook page.

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3 Ways To Add Happiness To Life

3 Ways To Add Happiness To  Life


Happiness involves the daily acts of choices you make in life and how you view life’s situation.  You see, happiness is a choice.  It took me a while to really grasp this but I am so glad that I did.  It is not a destination or an end result.  Even though I am a work in progress, I now understand that happiness derives from the choices that I choose to make daily and how I choose to view what is going on.  I pick my happiness.  I do not have to wait on it.  I can find some happiness in everyday.

The other day as I was looking out the window at the sun shining and enjoying a cup of coffee, I got a glimpse of the quote above sitting on my desk and I was so grateful for realizing the happiness in my life.  So I began to think about what I participate in that gives me happiness or what helps me allow room or space to be happy, receive happiness, and embrace happiness. I began to think of what I participate in that allows room in my mind and life for happiness.  I believe that we have to be open to receiving happiness.  I believe that we have to believe that we deserve happiness.

I thought about the 3 things listed below

1. Being Grateful

Taking inventory of the good things in life is always needed.  It can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking of all of the wrong that is going on but this just destroys the chance of having happiness in your life.  By taking inventory of the good things or moments, the mind gets to relax and it sends positive energy throughout the body that can be beneficial physically also.  Positive energy makes it easier to find happiness.

2.  Being content.  

Life moves so fast until the idea of contentment can become lost.  There is nothing wrong with making goals or working on completing them but don’t forget to enjoy the moment of life where you are at now.  I used to not enjoy some moments in life because I was not where I wanted to be in life yet.  I was waiting until a certain thing or event happen to be happy.  I was not content with life and missed enjoying beautiful moments that were happening at that present time.  I didn’t enjoy the progression.  After each accomplishment, I always had the next accomplishment to tackle in my mind.  In life’s journey, there may be stormy days but not always because the sun always come out.  Take time to enjoy the sun.

 Another part of contentment can involve comparison.  Stay focus on your journey not anyone’s else.  Your journey was design just for you.  Trust that everything is happening when it should.  It can be easy to fall into the trap of comparison but this just destroys the chance of having happiness in your life.  No two journeys of life are the same.  You don’t want to miss your progression looking at someone’s else journey.

3.  Being Alone 

Don’t give all of yourself to others.  Leave some time to be alone.  By having some alone time, you give yourself room to provide some self care.   Self care is just as important as caring for others.  I know this can sometimes be difficult but it is so necessary.  By eliminating self care, the chance of having happiness in your life is very slim.  Take some alone time for yourself.  Enjoy the moments of doing nothing.  Let your mind and body take a break.  The rejuvenation that comes with having some alone time is great.  It makes it easier to be open to happiness.

Have you noticed how you can help the same person over and over again but he or she does not change or improve.  The change will not come until he or she is ready.  I think this can be applied to happiness.  You have to be open to the idea that you can be happy and that you deserve to be happy.  This is when you will begin to find happiness daily in your life.

By participating in all three above:

It allows room for happiness to come in.   It allows  you to be open to happiness.  It reduces the chances of negativity in your life. 

I really don’t think that there is a big ole magic trick or some secret that only a select few in life have access to add or find happiness.  It is simply the daily acts of the choices we make in life and how we choose to view life’s situation.  We decide what our happiness will be.  We have a choice.

What behaviors do you participate in that help bring happiness in your life?

Let’s stay connected.  Don’t forget to like Facebook page.

This has been shared on Merry Monday, Bloggers Brag PinterestLink It To MeTurn It Up Tuesday, & Tip Tuesday .


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Are you worrying? 2 Step Process to Stop

Have you been worrying 2 Steps To Stop Worrying

Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”  Corrie Ten Boom

That statement above really touched me because I have found myself participating in worrying and it causing me to not work on things in my life that I can improve or resolve. I mean after all the worrying about a situation that I can not do anything about, I am too tired to focus on working on situations that I can do something about.  I am too tired to focus on enjoying life.

Have you ever been going through a situation and it seemed that all you could do was worry? I mean just worrying, worrying, worrying nonstop.  Did it really help your situation? I can answer that quickly. No.  I can say that I have found myself falling into the pit of worrying about some things that occurred in my life.  It seemed so easy to do. I mean like it came natural but it actually did not solve or make the situation any better.  Worrying about one situation in your life can alter all areas of your life.   Due to all the energy that is required to participate in worrying, it can stunt your progress towards moving forward in situations that you can do something about.  It takes away strength that you will need to continue on. It may even take away your ability to enjoy fun moments in life.


   2 step process to stop worrying

I encourage you to practice on not giving power to worrying or allowing it to take strength from you.  Trust me, I am not saying that this is going to be easy but it will be profitable for your life.  Here is a 2 step process (yes, just 2 step) that can help eliminate worrying from the equation of your situation.

1. Stop and take a look at the situation and see if there is anything that you can do to resolve it.

2.  a. If you can resolve it, make a list of steps to succeed with resolving it and follow through  on them.

b.  If you can not resolve it, make peace with that (We are humans who sometimes do not have any control on certain situations that occur in our lives but we can control how we react to them).   As my husband always say, “If it is meant to be, it will be.”  God has been really helping me with this.


You will find in life that there will be times when you can do 2. a. but there will also come times when you will have to do 2. b.  I am sure many of you reading this already participates in this 2 step process but difficulty may come when it is time to choose 2. b.

If a situation arise and you need to do 2. b. but you choose to worry instead, you will take strength that is needed for you to do 2. a. for situations in your life that you can resolve.

If you are used to worrying, 2. b. may be difficult at first because you will have to retrain your mind.  That is Ok.  You will have to be intentional.  The more you do it, the easier it will get.   I have been there and I am still working on it.  I sometimes find myself falling back into the trap of worrying.  I have to stop and realize how it is so important to not take the strength and energy that I will need to resolve situations in my life that I can control by worrying about situations that I can not control. I have to remind myself what I am giving up if I choose to worry.  I have to remind myself that I have a choice.  I choose to not let worrying control me.


Again, I am a work in progress.  Let’s encourage and motivate each other. What are some ways you use to stop from worrying?  I would love feedback.

Let’s stay connected.  I would be honored if you check out my Facebook page and like it https://www.facebook.com/JcCeeWatkinsBarney

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6 Ways to Say No to Negative Self Talk

6 Ways to Say No To Negative Self Talk 


Self talk can be a great tool use in life when it comes to tackling tasks or goals, but there is a form of self talk  that can be detrimental to your progress in the process.  It is negative self talk.  Have you ever attempted to complete a task whether it is personal or business related and you tell yourself that You Can’t or You’re not good enough to do it, etc?  I have quite a few times.  I mean there have been times that I have almost literally talked myself out of even trying.

This is called negative self talk.  By listening to those voices, you are self sabotaging your own progress. You are not giving yourself a chance.   But it does not have to continue, you can stop it.  It can be stop by replacing with positive self talk.  Well, you may wonder HOW?

There are some steps that I use to change those voices in my head.  I have used these steps in the past to help me and when negative self talk try to come now, I still use them.  Because it will try to continue to show up but since I have a process in my possession, it doesn’t stand a chance now.  In life, it is all about having the right tools to make it.  I am not perfect, I am a work in progress.  As as long as I continue to do the work on myself, I will continue to strive.  Some days are GREAT and some days  I have to get my list of steps out and go to work.

I always believe that there is so much work individuals can be doing on themselves until they will not have time to worry about what others are doing (I had to add this because many waste time that they can be investing in themselves on worry about the next person which will yield no return for them).   Back to the topic, you can change those voices in your head to your cheerleaders instead of naysayers.

Steps to change (transform) those naysayers in your head to cheerleaders

1.  Acknowledge that the negative self talk is there and jot down the sayings on a piece of paper by itself.

2.  Ok, so you see what they are saying, now write down some strengths you have or what you are good at.  You can take your time on this step because the more the better.

3.  Write out some past accomplishments.  This will remind yourself that you have what it takes to accomplishment what you are trying to do.  You are an achiever!  You can also take your time on this step because you are getting that boost of motivation to develop positive self talk.

4.  Develop some positive self talk to constantly tell yourself.  Be generous with this list, you are worth it 🙂

5.  Destroy the piece of paper with the negative self talk.

6.  Practice use the positive self talk, the more you use it, the more it will be in your mind.  As Norma Vincent Peale says, “Change your thoughts and you can change your world.”


While working through these steps, you will be self esteem building, developing more tools to help you accomplish your goals, and eliminating the negative self talk out of your mind.

Now watch your world change 🙂

I would love feedback, how do you eliminate the negative self talk when it comes?

Let’s stay connected. Don’t forget to like Facebook page.

This has been shared on Fridays Blog Booster Party,  Pin Worthy WednesdayWednesday Wisdom, Link It To Me, and Motivation Monday.

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5 Tips To Reduce Stress

Due to the different roles individuals may play in life and the uncontrollable situations that may arise, stress may easily creep into their daily lives as a result.    It is crucial that individuals participate in self-care behaviors to reduce stress.  It is very easy for individuals to participate in self-care behaviors such as brushing teeth and bathing/showering daily but sometimes it seems difficulty to participate in self-care behaviors such as relaxation and “Me” time.  All of them are important in regards to individuals’ overall health.

When working in a field that gives you a platform to help others, it is easy to put self-care behaviors such as relaxation and “Me” time on the back burner. While this can be fulfilling, one must be careful to not leave out time for self-care behaviors.  I was guilty of this in the past.  I would focus most if not all of my time on job related activities.  I began to experience stress that lead to burn out.  Burn out may reduce the chances of being effective in the different roles one may play in life.   I had to take a step back and see what I needed to do differently.  I created a list of self-care behaviors and I incorporated them into my life.

Here are 5 self-care behaviors that may help reduce stress

1.  Set some time aside to participate in relaxing activities. Give your mind and body a break.    Everyone may have different preferences of pampering.  Find one that you love and go all in.  I love sitting and sipping tea, listening to calming music, spa bath, massage, etc.

2.  May sure you have 8 hours of sleep. Sleep is important.  When the body lacks sleep, it does not function as it should.  The body may become tired and weak which will make it more difficult to handle any stress that may arise.  Lack of sleep may also make it difficult to function effectively.  When I lack sleep, I miss important details that I would normally recognize.

3.  Find a person that you trust for support. Talk it out (vent and go over possible solutions).  It could be a friend or professional.   Writing could be another option.  Writing can also be use as a way to vent and create solutions.

4.  Have an optimistic attitude. Sometimes, situations happen in life that we do not have any control over. It may be beneficial to look at the bright side of the situation.  My aunt always discussed how there is always a bright side of the situation.  The situation could have been worst.

5.  Participate in some form of exercise. Exercise may help the body reduce stress levels by releasing happy chemicals called endorphins.  I always have a burst of happiness after exercising.

By taking time out to participate in these self-care behaviors, individuals may be equipping themselves with the necessary tools to handle  and reduce stress.  Individuals may also become more effective in the different roles they may play in life.  This list is constantly growing as I am always finding more ways to participate in these type of self-care behaviors.

Do you have any self-care behaviors that you participate in that may reduce stress?

Let’s stay connected. Don’t forget to like my facebook page.

This has been shared on Link It To Me and Thriving Thursday.

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Relaxed Hair Growth Journey with Hair Regimen

I use this a lot because it is so true The only PERSON you need to be BETTER than is the PERSON you were YESTERDAY-unknown

Sometimes individuals can not be the best them because they are too busy focusing on what others are doing. When you take time and focus on your own life, you improve your well-being.  You should constantly be a work in progress.

I began my journey towards healthier hair in September 2010.  I was one of the people who would relax and colored her hair in the same day.  My hair was damage until my father thought my hair was not gonna grow back.  I grew up with a nice length of hair but as I got older I damaged it severely.

I began my journey toward a healthy me about 4 months ago.  Even though my hair needed help also, I did not focus on my hair that much because I was spending all my time on my eating/working out habits.  I have decided to start back focusing on my hair more starting now. These may not be the best pictures because I wear a protective style a lot but I am going to try to show progress throughout my journey.


Jan 2010

September 2010

March 2012

March 2014

When I started my journey back in 2010, I moisturized and sealed my ends every night with Scurls/olive oil.  Hair always grow but it breaks when it is dry.  It is very important to take care of those ends.  A small amount goes a long way.  I would co wash on Wednesday (simply using a conditioner instead of shampoo when you wash you hair).  I would make sure I go to sleep with satin bonnet or wrap every night. I only flat iron after I relaxed my hair, which was every 4 to 6 mos.

I would deep condition on Saturday.  I would add a little oil to my conditioner.  I would shampoo 1x a month with a clarifying shampoo.  I would use a leave in conditioner after I wash my hair.  I would do a protein treatment 1x a month.   I would oiled my scalp 2x a week with olive oil.

As time went by, I began to experiment with other oils also.  When my hair was shedding, I would do a black tea rinse (get black tea from the grocery store and brew it, let it cool and pour it on your hair).  Make sure to add conditioner to the hair after the black tea rinse to decrease the hardness associated with the black tea.

I also took a multivitamin in the beginning.    My diet was healthier also.  I increased my water intake as well.  I learned a lot of valuable information on this journey.  The routine above is how I started my journey back in 2010.  As time progress, I adjusted it because I learned what my hair did or did not need.


In the picture above, the rest of my hair is at the back.  Presently since my hair is texlaxed (new growth not fully relaxed) I will deep condition once every two weeks to cut down on messing with it.  I will co wash in between the deep condition time.  I will moisturized and sealed my ends with S curls / olive oil 3x a week.  I will oiled my scalp 1x a week.  I will do a protein treatment 1x a month.

I will shampoo with a clarifying shampoo to remove buildup of product 1x a month.  I will also use a leave in conditioner after I wash my hair.  I will also prepoo (my definition is adding oil all over the hair from the scalp to the end and putting on a plastic cap before bed) my hair before wash day if my new growth seems unmanageable.  It softens the new growth.

Clean eating is important also.  By putting healthy foods in the body, the hair is also been fed some nutrients to help with the healthiness of it.

My favorite protective style is a wig.  I bought me a new wig to start back on this hair journey.

Do you have a hair care regimen?

Ready for a New Life? Embrace Change

Ready for a new life Embrace change

I have been hearing the saying lately “Your new life is going to cost you your old one” a lot.  I remember wanting a change for my life a couple of years ago. A change that included getting closer with Jehovah. This change has been going on every since. It has been a blessing but I have had to change the way I think and do things (ongoing process).

This has not been easy.  Just let me say this, old habits can be a headache to break, especially when you thought that you had it all figure out and thought you knew what was best.  Ha, I have to laugh at myself for thinking that.  The other day I was browsing on my husband’s blog and one of his posts described the process of your new life is going to cost you your old one.

It seems am going in circles to get to my path in life…Reasons unknown or maybe just to loose the unnecessary while gaining the necessary….
When I’m putting a puzzle together….I pick up pieces….Just to put down pieces…Am I confused or maybe it’s just to ge the right pieces to put the puzzle together correctly….
Yesterday I failed heavily…
Today I failed lightly…. Am I a failure or am I learning how to succeed for tomorrow
Freddie B

My interpretation of what my husband wrote includes understanding that you have to drop things or thinking processes from the old life and it is a journey because it will take some time to get it out of your system , so it feels like you going in circles but you’re really not, you are just loosing the unnecessary and gaining the necessary.  It seems like it is taking you forever to finished the puzzle but you are doing away with the old and tapping into the new by going through the pieces of puzzle.

Through it all, it seems like you are failing because you are so use to the old you, old ways, old thoughts, old everything but you’re really not. See, the old you is not going down without a fight and you have to tap into your inner strength and keep in mind that your new life is for the better and fight for it.

My change included getting closer with Jehovah. When I started seeking him, I became aware of my shortcomings and began surrendering to his guidance (ongoing process).  I say ongoing because I am still working on this. Honestly, I don’t think that there is an ending to surrendering to his guidance because I need him.  Seeking him has cause me to activate Faith, Hope, and Love. I mean really really activate them.

Your change may not be like mine but if it is to help improve your life, I believe my husband words can still be applied to help you see that the process is not easy but it can be rewarding if you stick it out and make it through.

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7 Scriptures To Encourage You


Throughout moments in life, there are times when we need to “just breathe.” Sounds simple but yet when the time comes to do it, it’s difficult. It almost seem impossible. Why though? Not sure, but I know the moments when I am able to just breathe are serene.  I feel, act, and think better.  One of these moments includes spending time reading and soaking in scriptures from the bible. If I were to try to describe the moment, I would say that it feels like the room is filled with fresh, unpolluted air and breathing it in is good to my soul.   It’s amazing to realize what reading the bible does for me.  When I feel empty, I am to get replenish through encouragement from the word.

So, I decided to be intentional and put together a list of scriptures that I can look back over when I need a moment to experience a moment of serene and moment of encouragement.  I already know that this will be for a forever growing list.

Proverbs 3:5-6- Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do no depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

Psalms 16:1-Keep me safe, O God, for I have come to you for refuge.

Psalms 28:7-The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.

Psalms 55:22-Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.

Psalms 143:8-Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you.

Isaiah 41:10- Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

1 Peter 5:7-Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

What scriptures do you go to for serene?

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