When you think of a party, you may think of a moment of fun time. A moment of letting your hair down lol and enjoying yourself. This is the total opposite outcome of going to a self pity party. It will drain the life out of you mentally and physically. It will take your self esteem to a low level. You may forget that hope ever existed. It will have you comparing your life to others.
Now, by looking at the invite above, I would not want to go. Would you? It would be good to think of this when the invite of self pity party comes.
Self pity includes spending time and energy on what has not or what is not going on right in your life (hurts, hardships, bad times, etc). One sure way to decline an invite to one of these parties is to change your focus. Shift your focus to what is going on right and build from that.
For e.g. think about what you are grateful for. Looking at what you do have is always a great exercise to participate in to make you feel better and help you see the good in you and your life.
Yes, life can sometimes throw some moments and situations that just make you want to scream and say why is this happening. Here comes an invite to a self pity party. But honestly, what does that solve? Absolutely nothing. A self pity party is not the answer.
I have been in some situations like that and dwelling on them at a self pity party only made me feel terrible. I felt like I was drowning and I knew how to swim (I actually do not know how to swim lol but hopefully you get what I am trying to say).
I mean how was that helping me or my situation. It was not. I had to shift my focus on what was going right (positivity). I had to encourage and motivate myself. I began thinking about my family and our health, we were eating good, we had a roof over our head, we were blessed to see another day, my strengths, etc.
By focusing on the good and my strengths, I was able to start seeing how I could improve my situation instead of feeling sorry for myself. I was able to evaluate the situation without feeling sorry for myself. When I shift my focus, my actions change. Self pity is an action that can be change. It is a choice. You have to identify that you are participating in self pity and confront it head on with the weapon of positivity to shift your focus.
Look at a self pity party like a battle that you know may come and the best way to handle a battle that you know may be coming is to prepare for it. Stop it before it get started, decline the invite.
So, how do you prepare for a self pity battle? You think ahead. You make a list of your strengths and daily things that are going on right in your life and confront it head on. Train your mind to focus on them. When something happens that trigger an invite for a self pity party (battle), you pull out your weapon and take care of it. As soon as it comes, hit it with your weapon of positivity in your life and it will not stand a chance.
Now, if it gets to overwhelming and you need help, seek it. Ask for help.
Being sorry for myself is a luxury that I can not afford-Stephen King
It seems like excuses, worrying, self doubt, self pity are cousins (first cousins lol). You can use some of the same actions to handle all of them. It may not be easy at first to adjust but it will get easier the more you do it. It just take you being intentional and prepared. You have to identify them as soon as they present themselves, and handled them. Remember, it is your choice.
There is nothing wrong with evaluating situations in life. However to get to a solution, it is better to evaluate a situation in a positive state than in a negative state. Self pity can put you in a negative state.
Let’s motivate and encourage each other. How do you overcome self pity? I would love feedback.
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