Your new life is going to cost you your old one. It’s going to cost you your comfort zone and your sense of direction.
It’s going to cost you relationships and friends. It’s going to cost you being liked, and understood.
Because the people who are meant for you are going to meet you on the other side.
And you’re going to build a new comfort zone around the things that actually move you forward.
And instead of liked, you’re going to be loved.
Instead of understood, you’re going to be seen.
All you’re going to lose is what was built for a person you no longer are. Let it go.
I have been hearing the saying lately “Your new life is going to cost you your old one” a lot. I remember wanting a change for my life a couple of years ago.
This has not been easy. The old me was not going down without a fight. In a way, I had to respect the old me because it was willing to fight for what it wanted.
Even though it was an outdated version of me that I respected, it could not help me with what I wanted to do with my life currently.
It did show me that I had fight in me though. Isn’t it funny how we can pull motivation from anything if we look at it a certain way?
How does that saying go about old ways don’t open new doors? It goes something like that. Outdated information is irrelevant today. So, I needed an upgraded version of me to help me reach my goals today.
You have old habits trying to continue to show up. Old habits can be headache to break. They have found comfort in your life.
You may fall out of alignment with some people also. Don’t feel bad. You are not saying that they are bad people. It just means y’all time together has run its course.
All of this is a part of the change that comes with striving toward a new life.
Of course, I am not doctor psychiatrist. I am only sharing my thoughts and experiences.
Changing or upgrading your life requires embracing change. Well, how does one achieve this you may ask? It all boils down to one thing. It’s this one thing that will be the umbrella over 5 ways.
Honestly, the one thing is a simple word and action that entails so many other actions. This one thing is thoughts. Yes, your thoughts are the key.
Take a second to read these quotes on thoughts.
Change your thoughts and you change your world-Norman Peale
All action results from thought, so it is thoughts that matter-Sai Baba
You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you-James Allen
We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves-Buddha
The more man meditates on good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large-Confucius
A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes-Mahatma Gandhi
When the negative thoughts come-and they will; they come to all of us-it’s not enough to just not dwell on it. You’ve got to replace it with a positive thought-Joel Osteen
After reading these quotes, can you see how powerful your thoughts are? Now, pause for a minute and give yourself a moment to think about your daily thoughts.
Ask yourself this question. Are your thoughts aligned with the person you want to be? If the answer is yes, this post may come as a simple reminder for you. If the answer is no, don’t worry. Keep reading. I gotcha.
What comes after your thoughts? Your actions (habits). Take a brief moment and look at these quotes on actions.
First, forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not-Octavia Butler
You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine-John Maxwell
Successful people are simply people with successful habits-Brian Tracy
What we do every day matters most than what we do once a while-Gretchen Rubin
You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, release the need for this in my life-Wayne dyer
Let’s discuss briefly some habits associated with negative thoughts that will keep you stuck.
Do you find yourself overthinking?
Scrolling on Facebook all day?
Trying to please other people all the time?
Stressing over everything?
Holding on to the past? (one of my biggest beast)
Comparing yourself to other people?
Thinking negatively about yourself?
This list can go on and on. What are the rewards for these habits? Think about it. What do they do for you?
They lower your vibration. They cause stagnation in your life. They cause you to not participate in daily habits that give you the life you want.
To sum it up, they cause you to not live your best life. On Life Through Fancy Eyes, we are all about finding tools to help us live our best lives (whatever that may look like to you).
First, give yourself some grace. 9 times out of 10 you didn’t realize what you were doing. It became the norm for you.
It is easy to get trapped in the negative thoughts & inner critic. The trap causes you to perceive things in a certain way. Sadly the fruit of this is negative actions.
Why do I know this? I have been there a time or two times some more. There is not any perfection on this blog. We are all striving to do better & be better.
But guess what, there is hope. It is not the end. You are still living. You woke up this morning. You got another day to begin again.
I am a list type of girl. I like to have a guideline to go by. So, I made this list of steps that have helped me and are continuing to help me.
Let’s get to the steps, shall we?
1. Acknowledge your thoughts and challenge them. If they are not influencing you to be who you want to be, challenge them. You can control your thoughts. They do not control you.
You can reprogram your mind. Isn’t that wonderful? You have the power to replace a negative thought with a positive one.
Let me say, this will be an ongoing process. It will be beneficial to add this to your daily practice. Over the years, you have accumulated so many different types of thoughts due to life experiences, other people’s opinions, relationships, etc.
For e.g. negative thought says you are not enough, you failed at everything, you’re a loser.
You can replace with. I am ——–list a positive attribute about yourself. Continue to replace those thoughts with positive ones when they come.
Make Positive self talk a norm in your life
You have to remind yourself who you are and what you are capable of. You have to be an advocate, cheerleader, & encourager to yourself. Getting encouragement from others is great but you are with you all the time. No one else.
So, it is necessary to be an advocate, cheerleader, and encourager to yourself. Positive self talk is you being all those things to yourself.
2. Become open to change. Embrace it. After you embrace this positive change in your life daily, you will want to find habits that will align with your goals.
3. Focus on habits. Be intentional. Make a plan. Develop a routine that will help you align with your goal.
For e.g. start with making a morning routine. How you start your day sets the tone for your whole day.
It does not have to be a long routine, just efficient. Here are some ideas that have been helpful to me.
Drink water with lemon in the morning
Take a eucalyptus shower. Do the hot/cold water method. End your shower with cold water.
Make your bed
Oil in diffuser or light a candle
soft music in the background or high beat (whichever you prefer)
open your blinds and let the sunshine through
read a couple of pages out of the current book you reading (I just finished Vibrate Higher Daily by Lalah Delia, get her book. Ok.)
listen to motivation or inspiring podcast (feed your mind positive info)
Do a guided meditation
Journal -Think of at least 3 things that you are grateful for and jot them down
Do a quick workout. If you don’t have 30 minutes to work out, no problem. Youtube has so many 10 minutes exercise videos you can knock out quickly. No excuses.
Start your day off with a healthy breakfast. A smoothie is quick. It is an easy way to get a bunch of nutrients and herbs in your body at one time.
Tip: If you drink coffee, try to flavor it with healthier alternatives such as unsweetened almond milk or oat milk, vegan creamer, vanilla extract, or cinnamon.
I have an on and off relationship with coffee. When I do make it, it is mostly black coffee with cacao powder, cinnamon, & vanilla extract. Sometimes I add almond or oat milk.
Now, if you had met me years ago, that would not be my coffee concoction. I was a frappe kind of girl. Frappe with everything in it. I mean caramel twirled all over the top with whipped cream.
Give me all the works lol. The growth I tell you, growth.
Now, I am more of a tea girl. The benefits of tea are endless. In the grocery store, my oldest daughter always say, “Mommm, are you buying more tea?” LOL I got to pick up some type of tea when I grocery shop. I got a cabinet stocked with different type of teas.
At least once a week, my husband and I have coffee for our morning date. That’s one of our things. I realize that I loved coffee, but it did not love me back.
So, I only consumed it here or there. In the meantime, I found a great coffee alternative called “Dandy Blend” that I love. I wrote a whole blog post on its benefits here.
Around these parts, you will find me eating with purpose a lot. I enjoy my meals but I create them in ways that yield healthy results for me. I have been plant based for over four years. I wrote a blog post on How To Start A Plant Based Diet here.
4. Execute your plan. Hip, Hop, Hooray!! Yep, I am cheesy. Now it is time to execute your plan. When you start participating in a morning routine that vibes with who you want to be, it will spill into all areas of your life.
It is something about a morning routine that improves everything. Maybe, it is the action of you taking control of your morning and making happen what you want to happen.
You began to think about other things you can do in your life to help you align with the person you want to be. Maybe, it is like the butterfly effect. A good effect, nevertheless.
5. Evaluate. Pay attention to how your new thoughts and habits help you become more aligned with the person you want to be. Give yourself a high five every chance you get. Celebrate everything.
If you want to dig deep and get more in tune with how you can control your thoughts and live in the present, get Eckhart Tolle’s book, “The Power of Now.”
This book will bless you, I tell ya. By the way, check out my 24 must read books that will change your life here.
In conclusion, understanding that you can change your thoughts will make a big difference in how you show up in life.
Since your actions/habits come from how you think, it is important to challenge thoughts in your head if they are not positive. Just because a thought comes in your head does not mean it is true.
Let me say that again, just because a thought comes in your head does not mean it is true.
Will it take work to challenge it or them? Yes. It will take practice, but it can be done. Eckhart Tolle ‘s book Power of Now talks all about this. This book was really helpful to me.
Your new life is going to cost you your old one. It will take work. You are worth the work. How you start your day helps set the tone for your day. A positive morning routine will influence you to participate in other positive actions in your life.
Did any of these ideas resonate with you? Anything you want to add? Do share in the comments? Let’s all come together to help each other get through this journey call life.
Before I go, these pictures were taken on a road trip with my husband. We were somewhere in Arizona. I wanted a picture with the mountains in Arizona.
I told babe to pull over and let me borrow his hat and Js (shoes) to capture this moment in time. Babe took the pictures.
Okay, it is time to wrap this up. Be safe.
This blog post has been updated on 02/4/2022.
Until Next Time,