When you don’t feel good about yourself, it creates a world of stagnation and hopelessness. It is necessary to keep self-esteem in check to have a good state of mind. Many of our decisions are intertwined into self-esteem. If you think you don’t have what it takes to get that job, you may not try. If you think that you can’t go back to school and get a degree, you probably won’t try. If you think you do not have what it takes to start a blog, you probably won’t start it. If you think no one will read a book you write, you probably won’t write it.
If you think that you can not make it living in another state, you probably won’t move. If you think you can’t attract positive people in life, you probably won’t. If you think that you can’t have a successful life, you probably won’t. And this can go on and on but why? I mean why? Who told you all of this? Where did these thoughts come from? Just because they come to your mind does not mean you have to agree with them.
For real though, why are these thoughts setting up residency in your head? When I think about why they were living in my head, I think about the way I was feeling about myself. I was feeling like ain’t (yes ain’t) no way I could achieve what I was wanting. When I chickened out, it is because I second, third, fourth, who I am kidding lol, fifty guess myself by thinking, well over thinking that I am not good enough, I do not have what it takes, why would this happen for me, etc. You know crazy thoughts like that.
And this brings me to self-esteem. Self esteem deals with how we value ourselves including worth. The times I chickened out, I couldn’t grasp the value that I bring to whatever it is that I wanted to do. I couldn’t grasp the skills that I will develop by trying. I couldn’t grasp the beauty of learning that I will acquire if it didn’t work out. I couldn’t grasp the possibilities of the positives that will result in my decision to give it a try. I couldn’t grasp the doors that would open because I took the first step. I couldn’t grasp the growth that I would gain. Do you see what I lost by chickening out.
So, how do we keep self-esteem in check? I would call it an ongoing process. We participate in daily activity that helps us develop positive self-esteem. I don’t think that there is one particular thing to do but a summation of many. I know there are many ways but I am going to share a few.
The experiences that come with taking risks are priceless. You will learn things about yourself that help you identify your value and increase your worth. Things that were always there but you hadn’t given them permission to come out yet. You will surprise, even impress yourself.
It is important to take care of yourself. Giving your body and mind what it needs helps you think clearly and helps you to develop the mindset to see the good and positives in yourself. Make sure to get some self-care moments in throughout the week.
Surround yourself with supportive people
A positive support system is critical when it comes to self-esteem. There have been times that I was feeling some type of way about myself and my support system was able to remind me of my strengths and positives.
Love on yourself
When you love on yourself, you learn what you really like and want in life not what society or people have told you. When you love yourself, some things and people you will not accept in your life. For e.g. negative, toxic people & negative media hinders your thinking process believe it or not. You will not accept that type of negativity in your life.
Exercise can help you feel better mentally and physically by the endorphins that are release. When you feel better, you think better. Simple, right?
Sometimes we get so tied down with responsibilities in life until we forget that we use to have fun. Take time out and enjoy yourself. Have fun and soak up those fun and joyful feelings that go through your body.
When you help others, it benefits both parties. It provides assistance to the person in need and it creates a helper’s high for the giver and may reduce stress studies have found. It is always a great feeling to make a difference in someone else’s life.
Most times we like to run from fear or block it but fear could be useful if we look at it in a certain way. Some fear is necessary to survive in life. For e.g. fear will come to mind when it is dark and you are going to your car alone at midnight. If you can avoid it, you may decide not to do that. For e.g. fear can help you see what steps you may need to take when you are taking a chance in life.
Instead of letting fear stop you, let it help you. Turn the negative into a positive. Does that make sense? For e.g, when we move to another state where we did not know anyone, fear was in my head daily. It didn’t stop me from wanting to go but it made me look up good neighborhoods and schools for the kids. I was able to use it in a positive way.
Don’t participate in comparison
Everyone is not on the same journey in life. Comparison can be dangerous to self-esteem. For e.g. you looking at a person who had tried again, again and again and they finally succeed at their goals and it is profitable to them. You weren’t there for all of the failed attempts but you see the final time they tried and got it right.
So, you look at your life and get depress because you are not where you want to be at yet. You’re not taking in consideration that person’s journey and what they had to go through to get to where you see them at now. Trust your journey and that you are where you suppose to be at this moment.
When it comes to compassion, you always hear talk or read discussion about showing or giving compassion to others, but what about giving compassion to yourself. Don’t get me wrong. Showing compassion to others is great and needed in this world we live in. I can’t help but to think how helpful self compassion could be in the part we play in the overall scheme of things.
We are imperfect individuals and will mess up sometimes and we need to be OK with that. We can be so hard on ourselves. We mess up and act like it is the end of the world. We treat ourselves bad and talk down to ourselves. This can help create a negative view of self. By giving ourselves compassion, we treat ourselves with tender loving care and provide comfort. This gives us a chance to bounce back, get back up, or keep going.
The mind is powerful and it can play tricks on you if you let it. Well, really you find yourself playing tricks on yourself. This is why is it important to be mindful of self esteem, learn what drives it, and how it helps guide your decisions. I have taken chances and everything that I thought I couldn’t grasp, I did.
Those chances turned out to be beautiful experiences wrapped in knowledge, scary, advancement, growth resulting in empowerment. And there have been times that I didn’t take the chance and wonder what if. I am in a place in my life that I would rather take the chance and be Ok with how it turns out than wonder what if. How about you?
What ways do you use to increase self-esteem?