10 Ways To Increase Self Esteem

When you don’t feel good about yourself, it creates a world of stagnation and hopelessness. It is necessary to keep self-esteem in check to have a good state of mind.  Many of our decisions are intertwined into self-esteem.  If you think you don’t have what it takes to get that job, you may not try.  If you think that you can’t go back to school and get a degree, you probably won’t try.  If you think you do not have what it takes to start a blog, you probably won’t start it.  If you think no one will read a book you write, you probably won’t write it.

If you think that you can not make it living in another state, you probably won’t move.   If you think you can’t attract positive people in life, you probably won’t. If you think that you can’t have a successful life, you probably won’t.  And this can go on and on but why? I mean why? Who told you all of this? Where did these thoughts come from?  Just because they come to your mind does not mean you have to agree with them.

For real though, why are these thoughts setting up residency in your head? When I think about why they were living in my head, I think about the way I was feeling about myself. I was feeling like ain’t (yes ain’t) no way I could achieve what I was wanting.  When I chickened out, it is because I second, third, fourth, who I am kidding lol, fifty guess myself by thinking, well over thinking that I am not good enough, I do not have what it takes, why would this happen for me, etc.  You know crazy thoughts like that.

And this brings me to self-esteem. Self esteem deals with how we value ourselves including worth. The times I chickened out, I couldn’t grasp the value that I bring to whatever it is that I wanted to do.  I couldn’t grasp the skills that I will develop by trying.  I couldn’t grasp the beauty of learning that I will acquire if it didn’t work out.  I couldn’t grasp the possibilities of the positives that will result in my decision to give it a try. I couldn’t grasp the doors that would open because I took the first step.  I couldn’t grasp the growth that I would gain. Do you see what I lost by chickening out.

So, how do we keep self-esteem in check? I would call it an ongoing process. We participate in daily activity that helps us develop positive self-esteem. I don’t think that there is one particular thing to do but a summation of many.  I know there are many ways but I am going to share a few.

Take Risks

The experiences that come with taking risks are priceless. You will learn things about yourself that help you identify your value and increase your worth. Things that were always there but you hadn’t given them permission to come out yet. You will surprise, even impress yourself.

Self Care

It is important to take care of yourself. Giving your body and mind what it needs helps you think clearly and helps you to develop the mindset to see the good and positives in yourself. Make sure to get some self-care moments in throughout the week.

Surround yourself with supportive people

A positive support system is critical when it comes to self-esteem. There have been times that I was feeling some type of way about myself and my support system was able to remind me of my strengths and positives.

Love on yourself

When you love on yourself, you learn what you really like and want in life not what society or people have told you. When you love yourself, some things and people you will not accept in your life. For e.g. negative, toxic people & negative media hinders your thinking process believe it or not. You will not accept that type of negativity in your life.

Exercise

Exercise can help you feel better mentally and physically by the endorphins that are release. When you feel better, you think better. Simple, right?

Have fun

Sometimes we get so tied down with responsibilities in life until we forget that we use to have fun. Take time out and enjoy yourself. Have fun and soak up those fun and joyful feelings that go through your body.

Help others

When you help others, it benefits both parties. It provides assistance to the person in need and it creates a helper’s high for the giver and may reduce stress studies have found. It is always a great feeling to make a difference in someone else’s life.

Manage fear

Most times we like to run from fear or block it but fear could be useful if we look at it in a certain way. Some fear is necessary to survive in life. For e.g. fear will come to mind when it is dark and you are going to your car alone at midnight. If you can avoid it, you may decide not to do that. For e.g. fear can help you see what steps you may need to take when you are taking a chance in life.

Instead of letting fear stop you, let it help you. Turn the negative into a positive. Does that make sense? For e.g, when we move to another state where we did not know anyone, fear was in my head daily. It didn’t stop me from wanting to go but it made me look up good neighborhoods and schools for the kids. I was able to use it in a positive way.

Don’t participate in comparison

Everyone is not on the same journey in life.  Comparison can be dangerous to self-esteem. For e.g. you looking at a person who had tried again, again and again and they finally succeed at their goals and it is profitable to them. You weren’t there for all of the failed attempts but you see the final time they tried and got it right.

So, you look at your life and get depress because you are not where you want to be at yet. You’re not taking in consideration that person’s journey and what they had to go through to get to where you see them at now.  Trust your journey and that you are where you suppose to be at this moment.

Self compassion

When it comes to compassion, you always hear talk or read discussion about showing or giving compassion to others, but what about giving compassion to yourself. Don’t get me wrong. Showing compassion to others is great and needed in this world we live in. I can’t help but to think how helpful self compassion could be in the part we play in the overall scheme of things.

We are imperfect individuals and will mess up sometimes and we need to be OK with that. We can be so hard on ourselves. We mess up and act like it is the end of the world. We treat ourselves bad and talk down to ourselves. This can help create a negative view of self.  By giving ourselves compassion, we treat ourselves with tender loving care and provide comfort. This gives us a chance to bounce back, get back up, or keep going.

The mind is powerful and it can play tricks on you if you let it. Well, really you find yourself playing tricks on yourself. This is why is it important to be mindful of self esteem, learn what drives it, and how it helps guide your decisions.  I have taken chances and everything that I thought I couldn’t grasp, I did.

Those chances turned out to be beautiful experiences wrapped in knowledge, scary, advancement, growth resulting in empowerment. And there have been times that I didn’t take the chance and wonder what if. I am in a place in my life that I would rather take the chance and be Ok with how it turns out than wonder what if. How about you?

What ways do you use to increase self-esteem?

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5 Ways To Get Motivated When You’re Feeling Blah

Do you ever find yourself in an unmotivated state? You know what you need to do but you don’t feel the desire to do it. You feel like it’s taking forever to get to the outcome that you have picture your head. You almost find yourself losing hope that you will ever get there. The good news is that it will not last forever and is only temporary.  I want you to take a moment to stop and think about what would happen if you let those temporary moments dictate your journey.  Words that come to mind are regrets, defeated, stagnation, depression, etc.  For myself, I don’t want to give temporary moments that type of power over my journey.

I have felt like this a time or two. Wait, multiply that by at least 10 lol and I am quite sure I will feel it again in the future. Does this mean that I am giving in to the thought that I am going be unmotivated? No, well, maybe yes. Stay with me though, it means that I have acknowledged it and will be able to help myself when it happens again. You see, in life when working on goals, preparation is BIG. Are you able to prepare for everything that happens? Probably not, but that shouldn’t stop you from making preparation for what you can.

I can remember when I first started creating photos for my blog. It seems like it took forever for me to get the lighting better and I am not where I want to be but I am proud of my progress. There were so many frustrating unmotivated moments. I think about it now and can laugh but I promise you it wasn’t funny back then. What if I let those temporary moments tell me that I couldn’t do it?  I wouldn’t be able to exercise my creative side or even know that part existed anymore.

My feelings for those moments were real but not valid. The power to make them valid is within me. Your motivation can be like your driver license. As long as they are valid, you are licensed to drive but as soon as they expire you are not. It is real that you are a driver but it is not valid because of your expired license.

Until you go to the DMW and get it renewed, it cannot be use to show you are licensed to drive.  That is how I think about the unmotivated moments. They are real but I have the power to make them valid and I can choose not to.  I can choose to renew my motivation and make it valid. Of course I need help along the way.

Now let’s get to some ways I get through the unmotivated moments. Of course, you may have different ways and that is perfectly ok.  I said 5 but I added a bonus one.

  1. Get some fresh air and go for a walk
  2. Go and read a magazine, blog, book, etc that has nothing to do with what you are working on
  3.  Take a nap
  4.  Gardening
  5.  Love on myself
  6. Binge watch a show on Netflix (Don’t judge me lol)

All of these ways help me to step back, relax, and reset.   I may do one or three depending on the severity of the unmotivated moments. These cause me to step back from the frustration and give myself moments to breathe. After these moments, I am able to think about my why and regroup if needed.  My motivation is recover and I am ready to continue on.

 

What ways do you use to get out of the unmotivated moments?

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Must Read Books For Inspiration & Encouragement

We are in the 2nd month of 2017. How has the new year been going for you so far? I would say it has been going good for me. Last month I discussed self care and shared my self care kit.  Reading can be a form of self care so I have been upping my reading game.  3 books completed in the month of January. Hooray!! To be honest, I didn’t think that I could finished 3 reads in a month but it happen. I started with one and work my way to the third one.  I would say the content of the books played a significant part in the completion of this goal.  Here are the 3 that made the cut for my January’s reads.

Uninvited

Have you ever felt rejected or unloved? Lysa uses her life experiences  to help you see how rejection had impacted her as a person and how it intertwined in the beliefs and thoughts she had about herself.  You are able to take the journey with her and along the way you find yourself relating through your own life experiences.  She shows you how she finds healing through wisdom from biblical scriptures and helps you see how you can find your healing too.  Throughout the book, you will find yourself stopping, digging, and self reflecting.  Through this process, you are able to find your road to healing. I will say to have a journal or notebook ready.  I used mine a lot. I enjoyed Lysa’s writing and this is a book that I will read again.

Jump

My sister got this book for me and I am happy that she did.  Do you find yourself stuck or stagnant?  This is a good book to read for MOTIVATION and ENCOURAGEMENT. I had to put them in all caps because Steve does a wonderful job motivating & encouraging the reader to go after their goals in life, whether it be career, entrepreneurship, or relationship wise.  Jump can be applied to many situations.  I mean, you will want to take the jump after reading.  Through his life experiences and faith in God, he shows how jumping, taking a chance, & not giving up got him where he is today.  He doesn’t just share the not so good moments when he started out but he shares the not so good moments after he achieved success and how he made it through them.  When I started reading it, I couldn’t put it down. Each chapter kept me wanting more. This is a must read.

Grace Not Perfection

Do you find yourself constantly in the hustle and bustle routine? Do you ever slow down, simplify things, and enjoy life moments? Do you just keep going going and going? Emily shares through some of her life experiences how it is important to slow down and simplify things.  She shares how it takes giving yourself grace to be okay with doing this and utilizing the word “No.”  I especially enjoyed the chapter on giving your person or spouse grace also.  She also shares very helpful organization and planning tips.  Overall, I enjoyed the book and love that there were pages filled with worksheets.  This book gave me the opportunity to look at my life and see how important it is to give myself grace. I did realized that I do not give myself enough grace and I need to work on that.  And for that I am grateful.

I didn’t want to say too much about each book but I have been inspired by all of them.  Did you read any books in January?

 

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Ready for a New Life? Embrace Change

Ready for a new life Embrace change

I have been hearing the saying lately “Your new life is going to cost you your old one” a lot.  I remember wanting a change for my life a couple of years ago. A change that included getting closer with Jehovah. This change has been going on every since. It has been a blessing but I have had to change the way I think and do things (ongoing process).

This has not been easy.  Just let me say this, old habits can be a headache to break, especially when you thought that you had it all figure out and thought you knew what was best.  Ha, I have to laugh at myself for thinking that.  The other day I was browsing on my husband’s blog and one of his posts described the process of your new life is going to cost you your old one.

It seems am going in circles to get to my path in life…Reasons unknown or maybe just to loose the unnecessary while gaining the necessary….
GROWING INTO GROWTH
When I’m putting a puzzle together….I pick up pieces….Just to put down pieces…Am I confused or maybe it’s just to ge the right pieces to put the puzzle together correctly….
GROWING INTO GROWTH
Yesterday I failed heavily…
Today I failed lightly…. Am I a failure or am I learning how to succeed for tomorrow
Freddie B

My interpretation of what my husband wrote includes understanding that you have to drop things or thinking processes from the old life and it is a journey because it will take some time to get it out of your system , so it feels like you going in circles but you’re really not, you are just loosing the unnecessary and gaining the necessary.  It seems like it is taking you forever to finished the puzzle but you are doing away with the old and tapping into the new by going through the pieces of puzzle.

Through it all, it seems like you are failing because you are so use to the old you, old ways, old thoughts, old everything but you’re really not. See, the old you is not going down without a fight and you have to tap into your inner strength and keep in mind that your new life is for the better and fight for it.

My change included getting closer with Jehovah. When I started seeking him, I became aware of my shortcomings and began surrendering to his guidance (ongoing process).  I say ongoing because I am still working on this. Honestly, I don’t think that there is an ending to surrendering to his guidance because I need him.  Seeking him has cause me to activate Faith, Hope, and Love. I mean really really activate them.

Your change may not be like mine but if it is to help improve your life, I believe my husband words can still be applied to help you see that the process is not easy but it can be rewarding if you stick it out and make it through.

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Hope In A Hopeless Place

 

hope-can-be-found-in-a-hopeless-placeAs I look over at this beautiful decor sign “hope” while I get ready in the morning, it triggers the thoughts of thinking positive.  I picked the “HOPE” sign up at Marshalls a few months ago and decided the best place to put it was in the bathroom.  You may wonder why? Well, because that is the first place I visit in the morning.  As I am looking in the mirror getting ready I can’t help but to see it.  Life, or should I say situations in life, has a way of taking our ability to have hope away.  It may not be all the time but sometimes things or events can happened and we lose hope.  I don’t want to be in the state of mind thinking that there is no reason to have hope.

Because despite it all, having hope can help through everyday life struggles. Why?  Remember the situation or event that you thought was going to be the worst and it seemed like you couldn’t see how you were going to make it through,  look back on it and see how you made it through it.  It may not have been how you want it to but you got through it.

I know the desired outcome that we want for certain situations do not manifest but that does not mean that outcome will be for situations to come.  I don’t want a couple situations to let me give up hope because living in a hopeless state is unhealthy and it causes me to miss the time or appreciate the time when I did or will get the desired outcome.

Throughout life, we learn new ways to cope and deal with situations and events.  It is like we have a maintenance kit  composed of tools we have acquired along this journey of life to deal with different moments attached to us that we just have to remember that it is there and use it.  Sometimes, we don’t give ourselves enough credit.

So that time that was difficult and seemed hopeless and you made it through, what coping skill or helping tool did you pick up from that and added to your maintenance kit?

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Word For The Year

word for the year transform

It is always great to start the new year off on a word that would be the focus point for your goals. It has taken me some time to come up with my word. I finally decided on “transform” towards the end of February.  At first I was caught between choosing transform or intentional. I was going back and forth about which word to choose.

Then, it hit me. To be able to participate in transforming effectively, I will have to be intentionally with my actions. These words work hand in hand. What do I want to transform? Every since I began this blog, my thinking process has change. It has cause me to think about things in a certain way. I have grown deeper in my relationship with God and I have learned to take time out and enjoy not only the big moments and things but also the little ones.

Sometimes, we find ourselves constantly moving until we miss out on things that will give us a moment to literally feel the breathing that we do. I mean we know we breathe daily but do we really take time out to realize the breath that we are blessed to take. The moments that we let slip by because we were so busy constantly moving.

My thinking process may have improve last year but I am still a work in progress. So, I want to work on transforming my thinking process more to take time out to enjoy life moments.  I want to continue to transform my health, my family life, & my business. I have to constantly work on myself because just because I know some coping skills or mechanisms to use in times of struggle doesn’t mean that I don’t get distracted sometimes with negative thoughts or situations. I do, and this is why I constantly work on myself to keep myself in check.

I also do not want to be just existing in life. I feel that in order to not exist, we must set goals and accomplished them. One goal should be to enjoy life moments.  I think we leave this out from our goal list but it just as important and it can be easily neglected or look over while we are playing our roles in life.  Even if we don’t accomplished all of our goals, we will have a roadmap to go by in life and will not just be existing.

I am looking forward to the growth that will come with my goals this year.

Have you found a word to help you focus on your goals this year?

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3 Simple Ways To Regain Focus

3 Simple Ways To Regain Focus

As I was looking through my notification, 100th post popped up.  It took a minute for me to process that I have actually hit this milestone.  When I began blogging, I didn’t have a clue as to actually what blogging was all about.  I had heard of it but didn’t know what it really entail.  All I knew is that I wanted to create a platform that would encourage others.

 My husband has been very supportive.  I had doubts about blogging but he was and still is my number one encourager/cheerleader along with my sister.  They consistently encourage and motivate me.  If I were to say that this journey has been easy, I would be lying but it has been rewarding.  It has cause me to grow as a person in all areas of my life.  I have met some wonderful people through blogging and for that I am grateful.

With all that being said, sometimes you can lose focus when working on accomplishing goals.  Life happens or you are bombarded with additional duties in life.  Since I blog about inspiring, motivation, and encouragement, I have been learning how to stay in check with my inner self.  In a perfect world, focus would be on point all the time but this is not a perfect world.

Lately, I recognized that I had lost focus.  I don’t know exactly the moment it happened but it did.  I found myself in a blank zone standing still without direction.  I didn’t know what to do next.  I didn’t know what to write next.  I just didn’t know.

So, I had to make some steps toward getting myself back on track.  I had to regain my focus.  I used these 3 ways to help me regain focus.

1.   Turn off the noise.

2.  Feed my mind the nutrients that it needs.

3.  Identify my Why.

I had to find a time to just turn off the noise of life and give myself space to clear my mind so I can feed it what it was lacking. I began to set aside time for only step 2.   I realized that the most important thing that I was running low on was positive, inspiring, & uplifting words in my mind.  I started thinking about the body and how we are told to feed our body nutrients, positive and uplifting words are like nutrients for the mind.

If we don’t give our mind the necessary nutrients, we are not able to function at the best level.  I had to get a refill because I was near empty. Who am I kidding?  I was on “E.”  I went to my bible, back to blog posts that I had written, other blogs, inspiring books, &  encouraging quotes/words.

As I was getting my fill up, I began to feel renewed and rejuvenated.  This gave me a clear and embracing mind to identify and receive my “Why”.  Why am I doing what I am doing?  What am I trying to accomplish for me and my family?

100th post and 3 Ways To Regain Focus

After I finished the steps to regain focus, I was ready to regroup and get back on track.  I also looked back at the notification of the 100th post and I got excited!!

It doesn’t matter if we lose focus as long as we can identify it, regain it, and keep it moving.

How do you regain focus?

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